The Top 3 Tips to Build Rapport with Anyone

Have you ever wondered how some people build instant rapport with anyone they meet? What is it that has you instantly click with someone, while another person of your same caliber leaves you feeling cold and distant?

The ability to gain rapport quickly is a vital part of any person’s life. Businessmen need to be able to gain trust and work well with their clients. A salesman needs rapport with his customers in order to close the deal on a car or house, etc… Rapport is an essential skill for social interactions as well. Building good relationships will help you find more friends, better jobs, and generally more happiness in your life.

On the other side of the coin there are those special individuals who seem like they can’t make or break a relationship. Whether it is poor social skills or simply bad luck, these types of people are usually very lonely. Whether they choose to do something about this or not is up to them.

The following 3 tips give you the best ways to build rapport with anyone you meet. These tips will help you build better relationships with your friends, family, and co-workers at work. You can even use some of these techniques to help improve your personal relationships as well.

As always though, don’t fall into the trap of “quick fix” answers where there are none! There are no magic words that someone could say that would instantly create a bond between two strangers! If there were then everyone would already know what they were and life really wouldn’t be much fun now would it?

The only way to achieve a true bond with any other person is by spending time with them and getting to know them. These tips will allow you to speed up the process a little bit, thus allowing you to build rapport faster.

I have been running my own counseling service for nearly six years now. During those six years I have conducted over 5,000 one-on-one counseling sessions as well as worked as a psychological researcher. In addition, I also spent two seasons as a counselor at a boys’ summer camp where I helped hundreds of young men improve their self-esteem and social skills through group activities and one-on-one conversations (no pun intended). Based on these experiences I am confident that the following tips will help you form any relationship faster than normal.

Let’s begin!

1) Eye Contact is KEY!

When starting a conversation, don’t be afraid to stare right into their eyes for up to thirty seconds or so. During this time it is important not to blink very often. Blinking too much can be interpreted as looking away (i.e. submission). However, if you don’t look at them long enough then they might believe that either A) You are trying too hard or B) You are lying about something (usually A).

While doing this make sure that you lean forward slightly and nod your head up-and-down (but never side-to-side like some goofy mental patient). These physical gestures help you gain credibility and empathy with the other person (i.e. trust).

2) Use Their Name Often!

People love to hear their name, especially when it is coming from someone they just met. By using their name often, they will feel more connected to you and in return open up more and be willing to talk to you about themselves (and thus build rapport faster).

To do this successfully you need to remember the person’s name that you are trying for BEFORE going over to meet them. If necessary write it down on a piece of paper so that you can discreetly reference it without looking like a total weirdo writing notes about them while standing next to them at water cooler. There really is no trick to this; it just takes practice. The more you use people’s name, the easier it becomes for you to remember their name in future situations.

3) Establish Instant Rapport through Exaggerated Agreement

When meeting someone new, find common ground with them as quickly as possible. If they mention that they really enjoyed watching a particular TV show, then make sure that you do too! It can be about anything from politics to sports or even popular music artists (although I would avoid using the last one because everyone has something different to say on that subject).

Since your goal is rapport building, try not to discuss any controversial topics like religion or politics unless all parties are willing participants of the conversation. The reason being is that you don’t want to get into an argument with them about something that doesn’t even matter in the first place.

Following the agreement of common ground, you then want to follow up with another question or comment about their TV show (or whatever they were talking about when you agreed with them).

Conclusion:

For those of you who feel uncomfortable with the level of eye contact called for in this tip, try staring at their nose instead (just as long as it isn’t pointing upward). From my experience, we tend to stare at something just above the person’s eyes because that is where we think they are looking. The less you blink and the more you nod your head up-and-down slightly while making direct eye contact will seem normal and thus not as social awkward compared to other methods. I personally use these techniques all of the time without thinking twice about it.